Remember the days of the old school yard, we used to laugh a lot... <cheers for the intro Cat Stevens>...
How many adults do you know that would do well to take a leaf out of some school kid's Jason Priestley covered exercise book when it comes to their personal relationships? <coughmyselfincludedcough> Everything was so much clearer back then, the rules so much simpler.
'How so?', I hear you ask. Oh, we had our ways, back in the day... <cue the soft focus flashback montage, with solo sax soundtrack>
Thankyou For Being A Friend
1st level friendship was the exchange of Friendship Pins. These were a big deal, and were proudly worn on the school shoes or some other highly visible place.
2nd level friendship was the making & giving of Friendship Bracelets... usually preceded by the friend in question surreptitiously asking what your favourite colours are. You had to pretend you didn't know... but you knew... <wink wink/nose tap x 2>
3rd level friendship was splitting a Best Friends Necklace with your bestie. Never mind that you were both walking around with 'Be Fri' & St Ends' around your neck, this was the ultimate act of friendship, and signified a bond stronger than super glue that was to stand the test of perpetual time... or at least until breakup day...
Once friendships were established & universally recognised, the passing of elaborately folded notes between certified friends during class was of the utmost importance. The contents of those notes were always highly classified, and absolutely could not wait 20 minutes until the end of class.
Love Will Lead You Back
Sending your friends to suss out if the boy or girl of your dreams has reciprocal feelings... awkward dancing at blue light discos, and declaring yourself as 'going with' your partner... nervous chats by the bike racks at 3:05pm, and the subsequent relationship lasting a whole 2 weeks.
Good times. Great memories. School days love.
One of the easiest ways to tell who your future husband, or wife, would be was to consult the all-knowing apple stalk. You had to twist the stalk while reciting the alphabet. One twist = one letter. Whatever letter you were up to when the stalk broke free was the first letter of your true loves name.
So if you had your eye on Andrew, Billy, Chris or David (or Angela, Beth, Carla or Debbie) things were looking pretty good for you. But if the object of your affection was Henry through to Zane (or Helen through to Zoe) you were pretty much screwed, and you probably would have chosen an alternative form of divination.
Luckily there was a few other options available to you...
You could always seek out the wisdom of a magic ball. Everyone knew that whatever the Magic 8 Ball said was the way it is, was, or ever would be. You don't mess with the Magic 8 Ball. Or the Magic Love Ball for that matter. Basically, if it was a ball, and it claimed to be magic, it spoke nothing but truths. Even though a Magic Love Ball sounds like something you would order online with a fake name, but hey, a magic ball is a magic ball and deserves respect for services to school yard divinations.
Paper Fortune Tellers were another avenue open to those seeking a glimpse into their future. Guaranteed to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth were these little expertly folded paper gems.
It required the assistance of your bestie to make one of these with your troubles in mind, and having all options - good AND bad - represented on the fortune teller. So there were both skill and chance components to this method of sorting your life out, making it a valid option for all your fortune telling needs.
I'm not normally one to sing the praises of mathematics, but there was certainly a time when maths was fun. Love Equations however, were dead set serious, and gave you valuable analytical insight into how well suited you & your beau would actually be - should you choose to move forward from the nervous chats by the bike racks at 3:05pm stage.
As you can see from Exhibits A - E below, the love equation is rarely wrong. There's a few couples here who could've saved themselves a whole lot of trouble if they had just done a simple love equation before hanging the do not disturb sign on the hotel doorknob. If Johnny & Winona had given their dalliance a bit more time to evolve there might not be a man walking around today sporting a 'Wino Forever' tattoo.
If you need any further proof that the love equation works - other than the almost perfect score for everyone's favourite 'toon power couple, Mickey & Minnie - just take a look at the equation below. Proving once & for all, that some love affairs will go on, and on, and on, and on... and love equations never lie.
Hoff a great weekend everyone!