I'm not sure some of you are ready to hear this, but '80s/'90s Poster Boy for the Squeaky Clean Living Crooners - Rick Astley - didn't actually write most of his biggest hits. <shock..horror..disbelief>
Mr Astley put his faith in three lads known as Stock Aitken Waterman to pen his most memorable tunes. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement for all involved, but there's one sneaky-sneakster stunt those SAW boys pulled that never attracted the WTF factor it should have. <Drumroll please...> The title track from Rick Astley's debut album in 1987, Whenever You Need Somebody, had already been a UK #1 hit just one year earlier for the fierce & fabulous O'Chi Brown. <GASP!>
So now that we've all collected ourselves, it's time to take a closer look at what seems to be the most public conspiracy in Retro Pop History. We don't shy away from the nitty gritty here at Double Denim Days - no siree, we fight for the TRUTH! Even when we can't HANDLE the truth!
What follows is a verified* transcript of an actual conversation between Mr Rick Astley & Ms O'Chi Brown c1987...
RICK: Hey O'Chi, how's it hangin'?
O'CHI: It's hangin' pretty good, Rick-ulous me ol' buddy! You know, hangin' round my new house that I bought with the proceeds of my #1 hit last year; hangin' some new pink & red sheets from the ceiling with the proceeds of my #1 hit last year; loading up on bling that I bought with the proceeds of my #1 hit last year. Say, why are you in a TV by the pool Rick? Don't you know it's dangerous to mix water & electrical goods?
RICK: Nah, it's all good O'Chi, I'm just living inside this TV until the proceeds of my #1 hit comes through. You know, it's crazy how similar our #1 hits sound.
O'CHI: Really? I haven't actually heard your new #1 hit yet Rick. Oh wait! They're playing your #1 hit on the radio right now! I'll tape it onto my new TDK D90 cassette tape!
<dubious phone line static>
Long before there was a Team Aniston/Team Jolie thing going on, there was a Team Astley/Team O'Chi showdown. And the battle rages on (albeit fairly quietly) into 2016 & beyond. We'll let you decide...